Post number 1200. Can you believe it?
Do I have too much shit to say or too many thoughts reserved for Tumblr.
I don’t mind either way.
Today I cried at work. I have been working there six months.
I must really care about this job.
Beer on Vrijtoff Square in Maastricht, Netherlands.
Wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere else with anyone else.
I’m reading Sherly Sandberg’s Book Lean In.
I’m not even halfway and I must say its my favourite gift this Christmas (even if it was self selected). Sheryl speaks like the way I imagined myself speaking at her age. Being 20 Years her junior, I hope she only sees this as a compliment. A narrative full of Life lessons and acknowledgement of the people who’ve enriched that life appeals to me, almost feeling familiar.
I went to business school with the aim of acquiring skill and knowledge, not answers nor did I go into by post-uni job expecting I knew everything for success. A similar thought process that Sheryl sees to encapsulates herself making the read logical to me.
Sheryl’s book is an extension of that understanding through her collation of Data, Research and experience. My three favourite words.
Though it is name drop heavy, people i assume buy the book to watch them fall.
I don’t always agree with how obvious her statements sometimes come across and some I kick myself for not recognising before.
Its hard to be a girl in a world that still operates on business Man Style 7.0
Even worse I’m a girl in Fuel Cell World. I’m yet to encounter a woman in my industry that I don’t work with. unintentionally this seems to mimic Sheryl’s early years at Facebook . She discusses that challenges and open minded needed for fast growth industries. This is where I feel my career can only grow and allow myself open to challenges ever-changing.
Mentoring is something I’m not sure I will ever have. I am sad to say I am afraid to want this. I am afraid that I easily depend on people and by having a mentor I will seek permission not advice. Something Sheryl addresses in one chapter. Every piece of advice I have asked for has only ever been felt to be necessary for its inclusion of permission. It is until that mind-set changes that I would be ready to benefit from that kind of relationship. Only having been sprung upon the working world, the permission to advice line is more blurred than most.
My Biggest challenge: how to tackle the uncertain world of fast growth industries and a role with no real job description to become target hitting, proactively tackling and ultimately satisfying.
I will get back to you on that … In the mean time I’ve got 100 pages still to go.
Live your life by Grey’s Anatomy Monologues?
Combining two enjoyments - pilates and blogging.
I think my old yoga days are helping.
Lonely Afterwork time = Blogilates
Trying to get into bed for an early night.
But this blistering headache won’t fade.
Its like a rave in my brain.
When my Bmi Calls me Fat…
I upset him. To start with I didn’t know what I did wrong. I thought I was giving him a platform to express any reservations about him potentially moving in. He took it as something else, that I thought he didn’t want to.
Upsetting him breaks my heart. I couldn’t say sorry enough. I don’t know him well enough yet to know what hurts him and what doesn’t.
He says I’m forgiven, that all is well but I feel so horrible.
I couldn’t bear hurt him again.
I know I must really love him.